Journal entry #4
October 9th, 1998
This afternoon we have had many visits from friends. They are still been keeping a close eye on your blood and we have been praying for a change to come. Daddy and I came back down to see you around 2:00pm, you looked very peaceful. At this point the nurse said it's just a waiting game. We stroked your hands, arms, and legs while talking to you. Your eyes remained closed but we know that you could hear us. Again I wanted to pick you up, but seeing you I knew would have to be enough for now. Daddy walked me back to my room, and then had to say good-bye for the rest of the day. Daddy had to get back to town to take the girls to the rehearsal dinner and Daddy needed to get his camera stuff ready. (Arthur was photographer before we got married and he was photographing a wedding, our 3 girls were in the wedding) I didn't want to see Daddy leave and he didn't want to leave us. Now I'm sitting here and I feel very alone, yet I know with the Lord we are never alone.
I will never leave you nor forsake you"
Journal entry #5
Change comes fast
October 9, 1998
I was by myself and received a call from Dr. Carr to tell me that your platelet count had come up. He said he was shocked it had taken a turn so quickly, I wasn't as shocked for I knew the Lord had answered our prayers. What I was shocked about was what Dr. Carr said next. He told me that an operating room had been cleared and that your surgery was scheduled for 9:30pm...TONIGHT! He then proceeded to tell me that if we wanted to see you before surgery we needed to come now, because they would be taking you back soon. My first thought was I've got to get down to NICU fast, I couldn't let you go into surgery without giving you a kiss and talking to you. Then it hit me...remember your alone and need to call Daddy first. I knew Daddy wouldn't be home yet so, I paged Daddy (this was in the day of pagers & not as many cell phones). I sat on the edge of my hospital bed praying that your Daddy would call me back fast, that way I could get to you before they took you back. Within a matter of minutes your Daddy called and I broke the news to him. We talked quick on what to do with the girls and how Daddy needed to get here fast. After I hung up the phone I was off to NICU to pray over you and give you my love. I stood by your bed with a million emotions running through my head, I felt like my legs were noodles and may not hold me up. I held onto your bed to brace myself wishing your Daddy was there with me. A minute later Dr. Carr came in and said it was time to take you back...I had to let go, placing you not in the doctors hands but fully in the Lords because He is your protector and healer.
Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, Which cannot be moved, but abides forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem, So the Lord surrounds His people
From this time forth and forever.