|Madison & Arthur the loading crew :)|
This morning after breakfast Arthur, Amanda, and Elizabeth left to travel to Amanda and Joe's new home to take ALL her stuff! This way after their Honeymoon they can travel home to settle into their new home with all their belongings waiting to set up house :) We are so very excited for them!
The littles and I watched as our truck pulled out of the driveway waving from the front door and living room windows. I smiled as I was so excited for Amanda, I looked downward and silently said another prayer for their travel safety. I looked up once again and found my mind begin to drift and a multitude of thoughts came flooding in. William began to talk to me as he looked out the window, and it was as if he were a million miles away from where I was, yet it was merely a matter of feet. I shook off my thoughts and came back to mind and body in the living room. I ask William to tell me once again what he had said, he said "it seems weird to be in this living room without the furniture (we gave it to A&J) and it's even weirder to think Amanda won't live here with us anymore"! OK, in an instant William was speaking what my heart and mind were thinking!!!! Sigh*******
I told him I agreed, weird it would most definitely be! The littles all ran to play with Legos, which gave me a few moments to try and compose my very loose thoughts.
I stood in our living room looking around at the sparse furnishings, boxes of wedding items, and reception decorations that scatter across our bookshelf counter. I had a sinking feeling and took in a deep breath. With emotions bubbling to the surface I began to ponder why now, where did these emotions and feelings come from? For the past 5 months we have planned for the wedding, worked on/bought wedding stuff, talked of Amanda's moving away, seen pictures of and heard about possible homes they may live in, we talked about texting, calling, and visits, and chatted about Amanda and Joe's future. All of these things are happy positive thoughts, all of which I take great joy in. BUT TODAY....Ugh, today reality hit!!!!!!!! Amanda is leaving, not just leaving, but gone on her way with all her personal belongings!!!! Our Amanda, gone! WOW!!!! In less than a week she will become a wife!!! After a few moments of tears and purely selfish thoughts like....there won't be anymore girls nights out with my 3 big girls, she won't be sleeping in her bed, I'll be miss her silly giggling with her sisters, her prayers each morning, and I won't be able to hug her everyday.....I'm selfish and I'll miss her tremendously!!!! Moments pass, I hear pitter patter of little feet running down the hall, I wiped my tears and turned to see a chubby 2 year old standing in front of me with arms held up saying "hold you"! (translated means 'hold me') I pick up my rosy cheeked little one, give her a squeeze and smother her with kisses, because as I know time passes much to quickly! While cuddling my sweet little one, the thoughts of truth began to surface once again and I feel the "selfish side" fading away. I come back to the place in heart and mind of truth and truth is I'm excited and thrilled Amanda is getting married! I want a million things for Amanda, love and happiness being foremost....followed by all the other wonderful things marriage has to offer, like being a Mama one day and feeling the love for a child like I have for her!