Thursday, May 9, 2013

Reality has hit!!!


Madison & Arthur the loading crew :)
In December May seemed so far away, yet, in reality it would be here faster than I thought. January ushered in  lots of new with thoughts of wedding prep, Baby #12, farm work and renovating, all mixed in with daily life, some special fellowship times along the way. Well, it's now May, Yikes! It came so quickly!!! Yesterday, Arthur and Madison packed up a U-Haul trailer with furniture, Amanda's personal belongings, and wedding/shower gifts. The packing and preparing for the move has been underway for over a week. So, with great excitement yesterday was the day to pack the trailer. The day was full with packing and celebrating Mary Ann's birthday...it didn't give this Mama to many moments to soak it in and reflect.


This morning after breakfast Arthur, Amanda, and Elizabeth  left to travel to Amanda and Joe's new home to take  ALL her stuff! This way after their Honeymoon they can travel home to settle into their new home with all their belongings waiting to set up house :) We are so very excited for them!

The littles and I watched as our truck pulled out of the driveway waving from the front door and living room windows. I smiled as I was so excited for Amanda, I looked downward and silently said another prayer for their travel safety. I looked up once again and found my mind begin to drift and a multitude of thoughts came flooding in. William began to talk to me as he looked out the window, and it was as if he were a million miles away from where I was, yet it was merely a matter of feet. I shook off my thoughts and came back to mind and body in the living room. I ask William to tell me once again what he had said, he said "it seems weird to be in this living room without the furniture (we gave it to A&J) and it's even weirder to think Amanda won't live here with us anymore"! OK, in an instant William was speaking what my heart and mind were thinking!!!! Sigh******* 
I told him I agreed, weird it would most definitely be! The littles all ran to play with Legos, which gave me a few moments to try and compose my very loose thoughts.

I stood in our living room looking around at the sparse furnishings, boxes of wedding items, and reception decorations that scatter across our bookshelf counter. I had a sinking feeling and took in a deep breath. With emotions bubbling to the surface I began to ponder why now, where did these emotions and feelings come from? For the past 5 months we have planned for the wedding, worked on/bought wedding stuff, talked of Amanda's moving away, seen pictures of and heard about possible homes they may live in, we talked about texting, calling, and visits, and chatted about Amanda and Joe's future. All of these things are happy positive thoughts, all of which I take great joy in. BUT TODAY....Ugh, today reality hit!!!!!!!! Amanda is leaving, not just leaving, but gone on her way with all her personal belongings!!!! Our Amanda, gone! WOW!!!! In less than a week she will become a wife!!! After a few moments of tears and purely selfish thoughts like....there won't be anymore girls nights out with my 3 big girls, she won't be sleeping in her bed, I'll be miss her silly giggling with her sisters, her prayers each morning, and I won't be able to hug her everyday.....I'm selfish and I'll miss her tremendously!!!! Moments pass, I hear pitter patter of little feet running down the hall, I wiped my tears and turned to see a chubby 2 year old standing in front of me with arms held up saying "hold you"! (translated means 'hold me') I pick up my rosy cheeked little one, give her a squeeze and smother her with kisses, because as I know time passes much to quickly! While cuddling my sweet little one, the thoughts of truth began to surface once again and I feel the "selfish side" fading away. I come back to the place in heart and mind of truth and truth is I'm excited and thrilled Amanda is getting married! I want a million things for Amanda, love and happiness being foremost....followed by all the other wonderful things marriage has to offer, like being a Mama one day and feeling the love for a child like I have for her!

14 comments:

Megan said...

WOW!! This got my tears rolling!! :) Such a sweet post <3 Praying for you all in these days to come! Love you all!!

Nikki said...

So many things for you to ponder right now. It all seems so exciting. I can imagine how very different it all will be for all of you.I think it is so neat that the mama of the bride is expecting a little one though. I will be praying for you as the BIG day approaches.

Stephanie said...

Sound like pretty normal feelings to me! How far away will Amanda and Joe be from you?

Kay said...

I will pray for them:)

Lynda said...

Yup - - even though I knew our Amanda was leaving and we had been having fun with wedding preparations - - - it was when her future father-in-law brought his truck to our house to load up the bit of furniture she was taking that your same emotions hit me. I knew how much I was going to miss having her at our home but also knew I was thrilled for her - - and for us cuz we were getting a "son". When you dearly love a child and enjoy her company, it does a number on your heart and emotions. Wait till the actual ceremony!!!

The Pauls' Family said...

Sounds so familiar to the feelings I had a little over a year ago :) You know your happy for them, but you are sad for the things that will be no more. It's hard to imagine that someone can experience all these emotions at once! Praying for you friend as you go through the next few days reminiscing of the past and looking forward to the future! Love you!

Cinnamon said...

{hugs} {hugs} {hugs}
Oh I wish I was there with you to help you pick up the decorations and have some tea, cry, laugh and walk through this time together. Really now Laura WE NEED TO LIVE CLOSER!! :-) haha!

What special memories and they will become even more treasured as the days and weeks pass. Gatherings will be even more special.

What an amazing gift to give her the furniture and the LOVE of your entire family. Treasures you've sent with her to keep her during this transition and furniture to sit and remember you all.

So glad you had a rosy cheeked sweetie there to comfort you :-)

Praying sweet friend~

~Cinnamon


Amy said...

Oh Laura! This brought tears to my eyes as I read and felt your momma emotions. It made me think upon how quickly those days will come. Oh how I need time to soak all these things in before they are gone. Thank you for this reminder!!!

Kelly said...

Oh sweet Laura .... You wrote this out so beautifully. I am sure I will be in your shoes one day all too soon :) I know you have so much excitement for the upcoming wedding. We had such a sweet time chatting with Rebekah today... we just love her and want to remind you of what a wonderful job you guys have done/continue to do with your lovely children. I hope you get to soak all the wonderful moments over the next week. Love to each of you... and a special hug for Ms Amanda.

Abundantly Blessed said...

This made me cry with you. Will be praying for all during this exciting, yet emotional time.
Blessings,
Vania

1HappyWife said...

Tears too! Praying for you during this very special time :).

Emily, wife of Jeremy said...

Such a bittersweet time. My heart and prayers are with you dear friend.

Deb said...

Oooh, how sad! But oooh what a happy time! But ooh, how sad! I want to say I know how you feel, Laura, but I haven't had the experience of "losing" a daughter yet. I think i would be beside myself with sadness and happiness and tears for both emotions!

Praying for you all and wishing you the very best wedding day. I haven't forgotten my promise to write you. I knew you had a lot going with the wedding prep, and I have had a tremendous amount going on with my mom's surgery, recuperation, a trip for a funeral, and now more doctor appts for her next week because something isn't quite feeling right--more pain for her.

I'll compose a letter to you when I can get my thoughts together, and you can read it and laugh after Amanda has married.

Take care and many prayers for you all. Much love.

Kathryn D. Duke said...

I am an occasional reader and have really enjoyed catching up on your more recent posts...what fun a wedding is but one of great emotion too!! SO happy for your new sweet couple...